Ways To Attract Christian Men- A Thoughtless Review

I recently conducted research on the internet to see what advice Christian women are being given on how to attract Christian men (advice outside of the Bible that is). After doing the research for several hours, I found that I kept coming to the same conclusion; this advice is utterly abysmal. It didn’t matter if I was watching YouTube videos or reading articles on the world wide web, almost all of the advice was useless, and the few pieces of advice that weren't useless, wouldn’t help women get noticeable results in attracting Christian men.

The first video I watched was by a youtuber called Morgan Tracy J, and the name of the video was “7 Ways to Attract Your Godly Man| Christian Single Women Advice.” I’m sure this young lady is honestly trying to give good advice, but she is inadvertently advising Christian women to be “fierce” and “confident” about being lazy, selfish and borderline delusional. I could give a breakdown of how and why Morgan Tracy J is wrong, but that wouldn’t be helpful for anyone. So, instead of criticizing problems, I’ve decided to help create a solution by giving Christian women one piece of advice, that will undeniably help them attract single Christian men. Are you ready? (That’s a stupid question for me to ask. You’re reading an article that I’m writing.)

The one piece of advice that I have to give is simple; don’t be fat! Before I give an explanation about why this great advice, I would like to say that I’m not fatphobic. On the contrary, I’ve never been afraid of a fat person in my life. And even if a fat person were to threaten me with a knife, running away wouldn’t be necessary, all I would have to do is leisurely jog for thirty seconds to be completely safe. Now, it’s time to address why not being fat is good advice for Christian women.

The main reason I would advise Christian women not to be fat in order to attract Christian men, is based on the simple fact, that Christian men are still men. I understand that in today’s enlightened society, it’s considered shallow not to find fat women just as attractive as women who can climb up a staircase without wheezing, that women are beautiful at any size, and taking a woman’s looks into account is “objectification.” With all of that being said, none of it changes the fact that in general, men find women with fit, healthy bodies to be far more attractive than women with fat bodies.

In my years of experience of hanging around Christian men at multiple churches, singles ministries, college and young adult Bible studies, I have found that these men are drawn to women that aren’t fat. In almost all of the church groups I’ve been a part of, there’s usually 1-2 women (3 at most) who are in shape, and the rest of the women are fat on some level. Now, almost all of the single men in these groups will figuratively flock to the women who are in shape, and sometimes they will literally flock around the women who are in shape. Christian men are drawn to these women partially because the women are fit, but they are also drawn to these women because the women aren’t fat. What I mean by that last sentence, is that the thinner women are anomalies. Women with pretty faces are relatively common. Women who have a relationship with God, are relatively common. Women who volunteer to serve at church, are relatively common. But the women who are fit have become a scarcity, which by definition creates value.

That’s it. Don’t be fat. This advice might seem harsh or shallow, but unlike the rest of advice for Christian women on the internet, not being fat can and does result in attracting Christian men.

This has been a Thoughtless Review from Cockatoo.

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Written by Tom Klingenfuss