The Navy Seals- A Thoughtless Review

My friends tell me that I should never tell offensive jokes, because I’m a Christian. I’ve reflected on that, and I’ve come to the conclusion that telling me that I should never tell offensive jokes is like telling a Navy Seal that he should never shoot someone in the head. We both kill people, but we both do it differently. For example, I killed at my grandmother’s funeral when I told jokes during her eulogy, while standing next to a crucifix. Everyone laughed, including the priest. An example of a Navy Seal killing someone, would have to be something like, if he shot someone in the head and they died. I think I’ve made my point.

I wanna point out that when I referred to the Navy Seal, I referred to him as a “he.” The reason I referred to him as a “he” is because there has never been a Navy Seal that was a woman; they’ve all been men. You see, women can try to be Navy Seals, but they can’t be Navy Seals. The reason that women can’t be Navy Seals is because they cannot meet the standard requirements that it takes be Navy Seals. I don’t want to bore you with the logistics of what it takes to be a Navy Seal, but I’ll summarize it down to a sentence for you. In order to be a Navy Seal, you have to be a strong and capable warrior. As it turns out, only men have been able to meet those requirements.

Now, you might say that “women are strong and capable warriors because they meet standards to be in the U.S. Army.” And you would be partially correct. Women are able to meet the standards to make it into the U.S. Army, but that is largely due to the fact that the U.S. Army has lowered the standards for women to join. Women in the U.S. Army don’t have meet the same standards that men in the U.S. Army have to meet. So, just because women can join the U.S. Army, doesn’t mean that they’re strong capable warriors.

I suppose you could make an argument that the Navy Seals have a backwards way of thinking, and should lower their standards for women just like the U.S. Army does. But you would be wrong. The Navy Seals have the right idea. If you disagree, let me remind you that it was the Navy Seals that bagged Osama Bin Laden.

I want to make it clear that women are better at certain things then men are, and that women have a very important place in society. For example, most of college graduates are women. It turns out that women are far more superior than men when it comes to attending school, taking tests, and spending thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars. Who would have guessed that women are extremely capable at spending money? I get how that might sound like a sexist joke, but I’d actually like to site a source, which I rarely do, because cockatoonews.com is filled with “Complete And Utter Nonsense For Your Amusement.”

https://www.lexingtonlaw.com/blog/finance/women-spending-habits.html

Women have a very important place in our society. That place just so happens to be in the shopping mall, where they nobly keep the U.S. economy alive.

This has been a Thoughtless Review from Cockatoo.

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Written by Tom Klingenfuss